engaged So You're Getting Married

This page has been written to assist you in planning a wedding that is pleasing to both you and the Lord.

Procedure

  • Contact the church office at (757) 490-3925 to make sure your wedding date, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner and reception are on the calendar. The wedding date must be scheduled at least six months ahead.

  • Fill out the Wedding Planner form. (This will open a new window)

  • Contact the church office secretary at (757) 490-3925 to set up all necessary appointments.

  • Make arrangements and payments for use of the church facilities as early as possible.

  • Read all the assigned literature given during pre-marital counseling.

  • Contact all the people involved in your wedding ceremony and make sure they understand church policy about alcohol, smoking, attire and behavior.

  • Be sure to bring your marriage license to the rehearsal.

  • If you are divorced, the Officiating Minister must see your divorce papers.

  • Pray fervently for God’s direction and blessings upon your wedding ceremony.

Set Up All Appointments

  • Contact Kempsville Church of Christ office at (757) 490-3925 at least six months ahead to set a tentative date. This tentative date will be reserved for 30 days.
  • Contact the church office at (757) 490-3925 to schedule dates for the wedding ceremony, rehearsal and pre-marital counseling.


Marriage Policies

Kempsville Church of Christ is not a "wedding chapel". We have no interest in performing weddings for couples who do not seriously consider God’s role in their marriage. However, if couples are committed to the Lord and to each other, we will do all we can to help make your marriage a wonderful, spiritual event to last a lifetime.

  • A minimum of three months of marital preparation is required. This will include, scheduling and pre-marital counseling. During the premarital counseling, the couple will be required to attend church at Kempsville.

  • II Corinthians 6:14 says, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" Couples being married at Kempsville must have surrendered their lives to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior and must be committed to establishing a Christian home.

  • Divorced persons may be considered for marriage at Kempsville Church of Christ should they meet one of the following biblical criteria:

Former spouse is deceased (Romans 7:2, I Corinthians 7:39)
Divorce occurred prior to conversion (II Corinthians 5:17)
Divorce occurred because of sexual unfaithfulness by spouse (Matthew 19:3-9)
Desertion by an unbelieving spouse (I Corinthians 7:15)
Former spouse initiated divorce and has remarried (Romans 7:3)

A copy of the divorce papers must be shown to the Officiating Minister. If a divorced person answers negatively in all cases, acknowledging that other extenuating circumstances often relate to a divorce, a meeting with a panel of elders may be arranged if desired by the couple to consider their individual case. No remarriages after divorce of a spouse will be performed until at least one year has passed from the time the divorce has been finalized.

  • In case of pre-marital pregnancy, the marriage may or may not be performed depending on the maturity of the persons involved and other considerations.

  • Couples must remain celibate and not live together at any time prior to the wedding ceremony. The minister will not perform the ceremony if the couple is living at the same address. No minister on staff at Kempsville Church of Christ will marry a couple if another minister of the church has refused to perform the ceremony on spiritual reasons. Each minister reserves the right to refuse a wedding based on his schedule and convictions.

  • We do not marry couples if either person is under the influence of alcohol or drugs before or during the rehearsal and/or wedding. NOTE: Any member of the wedding party who is under the influence of alcohol or drugs will not be permitted to participate in the wedding and will be asked to leave. There is to be no smoking, dancing or alcoholic beverages on the church property at any time.


Music Ministry

At Kempsville, we treat marriage as a sacred institution. All music selected for the Wedding Ceremony or the Reception must be approved by the Minister of Music. Songs offered must be religious in nature and not secular. There will be no dancing on church property.

The Officiating Minister can help you choose an instrumentalist for your wedding.

Other Considerations:

Attire

All dresses should be modest and discreet. Remember that the wedding party is on a raised platform with a seated congregation, so hemlines should be at least to the knee. Necklines may vary. Whether the neckline has sheer fabric or not, there should be no cleavage showing.

Wedding Fees

We do not charge for the use of the building. These fees are to pay the custodian for his services.

  • Sanctuary - $100
  • Chapel - $75 (Chapel seats 45 people. It does not include a sound system or instrument.)
  • Reception - $100
  • Payment for the custodian must be made by the rehearsal. Payments may be made to Norman Alston.


The wedding charges listed above do not include the Officiating Minister’s honorarium or the instrumentalists. These are left to your discretion. Note: Our custodian cannot move heavy furniture. All furniture moved for the wedding must be replaced at the end of the ceremony.

Video Presentation System

Kempsville Church of Christ is pleased to have a unique video presentation system in the Sanctuary. This may be used in a number of ways.

Before the ceremony, couples can show pictures of themselves growing up and dating. These pictures can be set to music. Most video services can take your photographs, slides and videos to produce a short video tape for such a presentation.

If you would like to use this Video Presentation System, please make arrangements with Josh Childress, the Associate Minister. A slight fee will be charged.

Kempsville Church of Christ does not offer video recording of your ceremony; however, we can put you in contact with a videographer with whom you can make a contract, if you choose.

Rehearsals

  • One hour is allotted for rehearsals. It is important that everyone in the wedding party arrive promptly.
  • If you have a Mistress of Ceremonies, she should contact the church office at (757) 490-3925 to work out arrangements.
  • Members of the wedding party must be dressed appropriately. Anyone attending who is either dressed inappropriately or under the influence of alcohol/drugs will be asked to leave.
  • You must present your marriage license to the officiating minister at this meeting.


Pre-Marital Counseling

At least four premarital counseling sessions are required. These will consist of:

  1. A Personality Inventory called “Prepare/Enrich”. This is not a pass/fail test, but it designed to evaluate fourteen categories of your personalities. This test will cover areas you may not have thought of and will help take the “surprises” out of marriage. There is a charge of $30.00 for this service provided by Life Innovations, Minneapolis, MN. This will become the springboard for discussion in subsequent meetings.
  2. Explain and discuss the results of the Personality Inventory. Couples usually have a lot of fun as they learn how their partner answers important questions.
  3. Biblical Instruction. This session will explain the roles of husband and wife. It will also help develop communication and conflict resolution skills. In this session, you will learn what your marriage is actually built on.
  4. Ceremony planning. We’ll use this session to actually plan the wedding itself. You and the officiating minister will discuss important details concerning music, vows, seating, lighting, decorating, etc.


During the pre-marital counseling period, you must attend church at Kempsville Church of Christ. We offer three services each week for you to attend.

Final Thoughts

  • A receiving line may not be formed immediately following the ceremony. This will enable you to start taking pictures as quickly as people exit the Sanctuary. Your guests waiting for you at the reception will appreciate this consideration.
  • Photographers may take pictures of any part of the ceremony except during prayers. There should be no distractions at this time.
  • No birdseed or rice may be used.
  • Please do not staple or nail anything to the church property. We ask that all guests, friends and family treat the church property with proper respect.
  • The flowers placed in the auditorium are a ministry volunteered by certain people in the church. If you wish, you may place them in the kitchen behind the auditorium. However, do not change the arrangement itself.
  • Communion is an experience for the body of Christ when they come together. Most weddings are not general gatherings of the church, therefore communion will not be offered.


No matter what type of wedding you are planning, large or small, simple or elegant, the main purpose is the uniting of two lives into one through the exchanging of vows. Since the vows are made before God, they deserve the dignity of a worship service.

Our purpose is to prepare engaged couples for a life-long, God glorifying marriage; to assist in the preparation of the wedding ceremony, and to provide resources after the wedding to help the couple maintain and enrich their marital relationship.

Kempsville Church of Christ places a strong emphasis on marriage:

  1. Throughout the year, the issue of commitment is addressed often from the pulpit.
  2. We provide Sunday School classes for young marrieds.
  3. We often host seminars and marriage clinics.
  4. We provide fellowship for young couples who can identify with the same needs and problems.
  5. We provide many examples of long lasting marriages. Many of our married couples have been married over forty years and some over fifty years.